my lady jane-book review

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My Lady Jane

genre: Fantasy, Humor, Historical Fiction, Fractured retelling?

rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ 1/5

“Very funny, my lady. And that reminds me”

—he pointed a finger at her—

“no horse jokes.”

He was making it too easy.

“Ah, my lord, why the long face?”
“That’s it!”

Being Queen can’t be that bad right? Well, it is for sixteen-year-old Lady Jane Grey. Jane prefers books over romance, and would rather be reading then kissing her groom. But little does she know that her groom is a horse. Yes, a horse. And her cousin- the king- is dying and giving the throne to her. Join Jane, her horse and her king on a humorous quest in a medieval world full of shapeshifting people.

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This was probably the funniest book I’ve ever read.

The characters, the plot, EVERYTHING was extraordinarily creative and quite hilarious.

This book is the “true story” of Lady Jane in the Tudor time period. England is divided between Verities and Eðians. Eðians can shapeshift into animals, while Verities cannot and there has been a lot of tension and war between these two. 16-year-old King Edward is dying and gets his cousin, Lady Jane, married to a stranger to secure the throne and keep peace in England. Little do they know that there are people out there plotting against Edward and trying to steal the throne for themselves.

Characters

Edward-the king. Edward is a dying sixteen-year-old king. He would rather be planning his first kiss then who to inherit his crown. I kinda like him, but, uh *cough* He’s not really my favorite. But still has an interesting character design.

Lady Jane is pretty much all of us bookish nerds. She LOVES books and treats them like her children and would rather read a book at her own wedding. I love her feistiness and she IS SO ADORABLEEEE. o my GOODNESS I LOVE HER SO MUCH. She has such a cute character design and she’s so relatable!

Gifford Dudly my horse boi. *squealing* SO GIFFORD (he prefers G) IS AN ARTSY POETIC SWEET SMOL BOY THAT I LOVE SO MUCH. HEEEEEEEELP. he writes adorable little poems. ILYSM G! he’s sad and needs hugs because his dad is mean (FITE GIFFORDS’ DAD) he spends his days in the fields as a horse and stays up at night writing sonnets as a human. please give him cookies and journals so he can keep writing poems

romance

(the whole point of the book)

Jane and G are so cute. At first, they kinda hate each other (because they were forced to marry each other) BUt as the story develops so does there love.  AWWWWWWWWWWW

my favorite quotes

( because there are so many beautiful ones)

“I love you more than I love books.”

(*claps loudly, tears dripping down my face*)

“On everyone’s lap rested a book. Any book. In case the wedding got boring.” 

“Because he was English and that’s what the English do under stress: they drink tea.”

“I’m so hungry I could eat a horse. Oh. Sorry, G. Not you, of course.”

The authors are amazing IM CRYING EVERYTHING IS JUST so funny! I had loud outbursts of laughter while reading.

what I didn’t like

*DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN*

The story was somewhat confusing, and I had to reread certain parts over to understand it.

I didn’t like Edward that much. (IM SORRY). He just kind of…. annoyed me… (again IM SORRY) He was very sexist and boooooooooooriiiiiiiiiing (sorry and sorryyyyy)

what I did like

I loved the world the authors built. I loved how the world was created and like the cool shapeshifting part.

Jane and G. (so ship worthy! should we call it gane?) They were so cute and a perfect couple. Their character designs were amazing and I love G SO MUCH (he’s my smol poetic bean)

overall

This is a funny and great read. If you are a fan of fantasy, historical fiction, retellings or comedy then this book is for you! I recommend it to anyone who likes a fun clean read!

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Have you read My Lady Jane? Do you want to read it? What books have you recently read?

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the queen of katwe- book review

9780349141770Living in the slum of Katwe in Kampala, Uganda is a constant struggle for 11-year-old Phiona and her family. Her world changes one day when she meets Robert Katende, a missionary who teaches children how to play chess. Phiona becomes fascinated with the game and soon becomes a top player under Katende’s guidance. Her success in local competitions and tournaments opens the door to a bright future and a golden chance to escape from a life of poverty.

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The Queen of Katwe by Tim Crothers

genre: Non-Fiction, Biography

rating: ⭐⭐⭐

It’s all about what she knows and not who she is or where she comes from.”

The queen of Katwe is a compelling and powerful book. Not only is it an inspiring story but it also is a tremendous eye-opener. Instead of being raised to accomplish dreams young girls are raised to be mothers, at young ages. Even though I didn’t necessarily love the authors writing style, I still was inspired.

things I didn’t like

I didn’t love the writing style. The author jumped around a lot and it was hard to keep straight who he was talking about. The title is a little deceiving as there are so many other people the book is actually about.

I also feel the tagline, & synopsis is misleading as this story is more than Phiona’s story to discuss the children and chess program of Katwe. Clearly, anyone’s story takes a village. No one gets somewhere without help, mentors, family, etc. But a good percentage of the book was spent dealing with the backstories of these folks, which again, for the most part, didn’t add value to the telling of Phiona’s story.

The writing is a bit too dry, but it can’t really mask a fabulous story of redemption and hope where none were supposed to exist.

I had also seen the movie a few years ago and the movie is quite different from the book.

things I did like

I loved the book cover! It is beautifully designed!

Phiona – an amazing, talented young girl who lives in a slum in Kampala, Uganda and through hard work, perseverance and an incredible spirit, ends up playing against players from all over the world at the Chess Olympiad in Russia. She is a true inspiration and her story needed to be told.

overall

I really wanted to love this book. I couldn’t love it, but maybe you will! Check it out here!

Thanks so much for reading this post!

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Have you ever played chess? What are your thoughts on this book?

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recent reads + nano excerpt!📖

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Welcome back to my itsy-bitsy corner of the web! Or if you’re new here, welcome!

This recent reads post is pretty delayed, I was supposed to post it on Tuesday but life has been a little busy so I didn’t get to write it then. So its here now!

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Secret identities.
Extraordinary Powers.
She wants vengeance. He wants justice.
The Renegades are a syndicate of prodigies — humans with extraordinary abilities — who emerged from the ruins of a crumbled society and established peace and order where chaos reigned. As champions of justice, they remain a symbol of hope and courage to everyone…except for the villains they once overthrew.
Nova has a reason to hate the Renegades, and she is on a mission for vengeance. As she gets closer to her target, she meets Adrian, a Renegade boy who believes in justice — and in Nova. But Nova’s allegiance is to a villain who has the power to end them both.

Ah, renegades. I reread this since book two is coming out LIKE SOON! It’s not that I don’t like the book, it just doesn’t live up to my standards for Marissa Meyer. I AM STILL COPING WITH THE LUNAR CHRONICLES. The storyline is interesting and it still is a fun read but it isn’t one of my favorite books by Meyer. I am excited for Archenimes (the second book) because it may clarify some of the confusing parts and the end. I REALLY DIDN”T LIKE THE END. I dunno why. Maybe if I read the second book I will like it more haha.

triggers: somewhat frightening villains, illness, fantasy violence

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Luxury spaceliner Icarus suddenly plummets from hyperspace into the nearest planet. Lilac LaRoux and Tarver Merendsen survive – alone. Lilac is the daughter of the richest man in the universe. Tarver comes from nothing, a cynical war hero. Both journey across the eerie deserted terrain for help. Everything changes when they uncover the truth. 

I really wanted to love this. The cover design was beautiful, the storyline was interesting and it was a collaboratory book. But I just didn’t like it as much as I thought I would. This also was a very emotional book, and I liked it a little and I shipped the characters and FELT THE FEELS. But, Its not like a book I would want to read over and over again. The authors writing style is really nice though.

triggers: death, angst, hallucinations

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In this long-awaited finale to the Giver Quartet, a young mother from a dystopian community searches for her son and sacrifices everything to find him. Even her life.

*sobs* This book was so beautifully written. It really moved me and I even cried. Lowry’s characters are incredibly painted in the finale. I honestly want more books in the series xD. It’s such a deep and beautiful book that I recommend to everyone.

triggers: sadness, pain, challenges, deep psychology 

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Long before she was the terror of Wonderland — the infamous Queen of Hearts — she was just a girl who wanted to fall in love. Catherine may be one of the most desired girls in Wonderland, and a favorite of the yet-unmarried King of Hearts, but her interests lie elsewhere.

this book is a work of art. The characters, the scenes. WHY WHY WHY?! I am trying so hard to conceal my spoilers. *SPOILER ALERT*

my precious, clever, witty, alluring smol jest died.
It’s so heartbreaking when the amazing character just dies and it’s PAINFUL. especially when he and cath WERE MEANT TO BE ( a colony that runs independently)

I really recommend this book. It’s breathtaking and amazing!

triggers: death, cute smol boy, FANTASY VIOLENCE, monsters

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It’s 1941, and tensions are rising in the United States as the Second World War rages in Europe. Eleven-year-old Gusta’s life, like the world around her, is about to change. Her father, a foreign-born labor organizer, has had to flee the country, and Gusta has been sent to live in an orphanage run by her grandmother. Nearsighted, snaggletoothed Gusta arrives in Springdale, Maine, lugging her one precious possession: a beloved old French horn, her sole memento of her father. But in a family that’s long on troubles and short on money, how can a girl hang on to something so valuable and yet so useless when Gusta’s mill-worker uncle needs surgery to fix his mangled hand, with no union to help him pay? Inspired by her mother’s fanciful stories, Gusta secretly hopes to find the coin-like “Wish” that her sea-captain grandfather supposedly left hidden somewhere. Meanwhile, even as Gusta gets to know the rambunctious orphans at the home, she feels like an outsider at her new school — and finds herself facing patriotism turned to prejudice, alien registration drives, and a family secret likely to turn the small town upside down.

this was so cute. It’s smart, witty and adorable! The characters are so adorable and omi goodness EVERYTHING IS SO CUTE. I love middle-grade books because you can find sweet ones like this one. The authors writing style is really great. I recommend this for your next cozy read!

triggers; NOTHIN ITS PURE

and now time for a cute fluffy excerpt for you all to squeal about

The boy took a deep breath and took off his hood. Cleo gasped. A thousand little dots that looked like stars covered his face. 

“Wha-What are those? You have a galaxy on your face!” Cleo gazed in awe.

“Huh?” He chuckled, “Those are freckles. You’ve heard of those… right?”

Cleo shook her head, she had never heard of freckles. Ever. 

She reached for one of them, trying to pull one off.

“What are you doing?” He flushed. ” You can’t take them off!”

“But I want one!” Cleo whined, acting a bit childish.

He smiled again. “I was born with these…”

“Oh.” She blushed, feeling a bit embarrassed for acting that way. But then all of a sudden she felt this warm feeling in her heart she had never felt before. and she knew, it was love.

yeah, I hope that doesn’t sound weird. I have always kinda had this concept before and I decided to use it so THIS IS TRADEMARKED.

is it just me or was that scene cute?

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are you interested in any of the books I have read? what are you reading? do you like my excerpt?

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♥5 minute Raspberry Smoothie♥

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heyo Welcome back to my small corner of the web! Today I am going to be sharing how to make an AMAZINGLY delicious smoothie that will give you day a great start! And naturally, boost your energy!

lets get started

 

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You can always add extra ingredients if you like, but if you want it to turn out the way mine did, then I recommend following the recipe!

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ

First of all, we are going to put the raspberries in the blender, I used half of the bag, you can use more or less, depending on the flavor and texture you want.

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Next, I will add 1/3 of a banana as a natural sweetener. You can add more or less, I recommend adding just a teensy bit or the smoothie will taste more like a banana smoothie than a raspberry smoothie :D!

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Next, I will add a teaspoon of Honey, you can add as much or as less as you want to depend on how sweet you want your smoothie to be! I am also adding a cup of water.

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Now its time for the fun part! BLENDING THE FRUIT TOGETHER!!!!

Remeber to put the cap on! Don’t want to make a mess! You can blend it for as long as you want, depending on how you want the texture to be.

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After blending it for some time it should look like this! When it gets to your desired texture, stop the blender and pour into a mug, jar, or even a SAUCER!

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And there you go! YOU just made a yummy, healthy smoothie! CONGRATULATIONS!

 

 

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I hope you enjoyed this post! Comment down below if you thought it looked yummy!

 

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Did you enjoy today’s post? Should I make more recipe posts?

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✧・゚: *✧・゚:* happy new year! ✧・゚: *✧・゚:*  

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✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧ ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

HAPPY NEW YEAR! *throws every random thing I see in the air because of the gigantic loss of confetti*

I CANNOT BELIEVE IT IS ALREADY 2018

*cue the gifs*

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Image result for 2018 gifs

Okay, okay, enough of my celebration! I am really excited for this new year and I really cannot wait to see all the amazing things that will happen this year!

I am very excited for Elysian Artiste getting 100+ followers and I hope that I will earn even more followers this year!

big news

I am going to be having my first giveaway on Elysian Artiste, to thank you all for your kindness and loyalty and also to kick off a start to a great year! I will give more info on it in my next post!

Final Thoughts

I hope you had a happy New Years Eve! I am very excited for 2018!

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Ava